Expanding and contracting 

I have days when I want to say hello to the world. I want to know what my friends are doing and tell them what I’ve been up to. I want phone calls, text messages, and comments on my fb page. I describe this time as “expanding”.

Then there are days I’m “contracting”. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Messages are accepted, but get short responses. I’d rather not talk to anyone. I feel useless and worthless. All I want is to stay in bed and sleep the time away.

Fluctuating like this is becoming normal for me.

I sometimes wonder if I’m expanding when friends are contracting. I wonder if when I’m contracting my friends are expanding.

I don’t mind sharing my energy. If I have it, I’m sending it out and hope that my friends feel loved and wanted. I know when I’m contracting and someone reaches out to me, I have a moment of warm feelings. I wish I could absorb the positive energy and multiply it, but it’s not enough to break me out of the shell I find myself in.

My question is: How do we expand together?

Will there be a time when we’re all expanding and energy emanates from everyone and we feed off each other and refresh each other? Everything cycles and recycles and the period of positivity extends to permanency.

I know that scenario seems like a dream so I’ll stay in my reality – expanding and contracting. I just hope that when I’m contracted my friends won’t let me recede too far into myself. Fluctuating isn’t ideal, but being stuck in a “contracting” state would be a nightmare.

by Angelique Grey

notes: I hope this made sense.

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